My Book-HAVING IT ALL: Women Without Borders | Introduction

 

 This is an excerpt for my book; “Having it All-Women Without Borders” –it is your life, what are you going to do with it?

  

I am halfway through my book, and I am loving it more and more as I go along. It is one of those things, where you can’t stop until it is done, this is how much passion I have about this subject. I have spent countless amounts of hours talking to women, and blogging with them to see into their hearts and souls of what do women really want? How can you make it a reality when you have children, and you work all the time? How can you possibly ‘Have It All’? It may illicit strong emotions in you when you even hear this phrase. That is good, you are alive and you are normal.  It is the tools, and the mental games we play on ourselves that could be our worst enemy or our best friend. Join me as we take a peak into “Having it All-Women Without Borders” –it is your life, what are you going to do with it?

  INTRODUCTION

People may wonder, how is she “Having it All’, and writing a book, raising five children and partnering in a film production company? She’s not like one of us. Well, I will tell you I am exactly like one of you, that is exactly why I am writing this book. I refuse to give up on myself.  I refuse to ‘let it go’, I refuse to say it’s over, I refuse to conform. I refuse to give in. I refuse to let go. I refuse to allow it to happen to me. I simply refuse.

 

I am on the mind set that if I do not ‘refuse’, I am done. Screwed, hang-it-up, forget about it, let it go, it’s over, and it’s too late. I am going to give you a snap shot into my life right now, this instant, so you may have an idea of how much I am like you. My husband left to a meeting with our only car a couple hours ago. We had to give the other SUV back, it was too expensive. My two and half year old, and four and half year old girls were climbing up the walls, so I put them in the tandem stroller and walked all up hill to our closest park. That took care of the work-out for the day. (never mind the 200 times I climb up and down the stairs in my house). While they played, I wrote the chapter on my Dad.

 

I got home, and looked at the pile of dishes in the sink, and saw the dishes in the dishwasher did not clean properly. I made sure I picked up the trash on the floor the puppies made while we were gone. The girls wanted waffles for lunch, who am I to argue? So I pulled out the toaster and made them waffles. I know my sixteen year old son is bringing someone over tonight, so I have to remember to pick up the toys in the front room, and take the broken office chair into the garage. This morning, after doing an hours worth of work online, I went and hung my twelve year old’s curtains in her room, and reminded my husband to make sure he leaves his meeting in time to pick up Robby from school.

 

The guys forgot to take the trash to the bin this morning, so I picked up the bags, and saw the puppies chewed the bottom corner off, and there were already ants finding they’re way in. I have been going non stop, and I am glad I put tennis shoes on this morning, because wearing sandels all day on these stone floors were killing my feet and my back.

The baby girls being home 24/7 for the last four months, since they are no longer in Pre School,  has been challenging to say the least, I tried to think of every distraction known to man-then I thought of the puppies and they helped a lot. While my husband and I work from morning until night online, the girls do not get all the stimulation they were getting at the preschool, but we can’t afford that anymore and had to cut way back.

 

People ask me how I stay in shape, it is simple: I work my ass off. My job is harder than my husband and all five kids put together. See, I made an arrangement to handle the housework and kids, if my husband makes us millionaires. Since he would be closer to that result, it would be smarter for him to do it, then me. That was five years ago. Since that time, we have gotten  closer to that point via intellectual property and future possibilities, but there is no million dollars in the bank. Therefore, we have one car, no nannies (we used to have a couple), no babysitters (they cost), and no Pre School. Besides taking care of a huge household, and the needs of everyone in it, I am also working full time.

 

I do all the online marketing, and graphics on all of our online properties. I maintain sites, and study market trends. I also am providing assistance in all areas of producing in all of our films. I provide the visibility and support and my husband provides the foundation. ‘Being seen’ is so deep encrusted into my psyche from my childhood, that I am the perfect one to do this job. And in the midst of all this, I decided it is time to write my book. I cannot hold back anymore. It is not the easiest thing in the world, since at 11 pm every night, I drag myself to the bed, and lay down. (Of coarse to be awoken mercilessly all night).

 

My husband puts in a lot of mental hours, so he is mentally exhausted at the end of the night, when he comes out of his cave (office), and he meanders into the kitchen, forages for food and whatever I made,  then plops himself on the couch, which is quickly followed by snoring. So, I put the house to bed every night. I do sit and rest for about 20 minutes to watch Anderson Cooper on CNN, but I am back up again to clean off the plates, put the trash outside, put pull-ups on the kids after I give them a bath, get some milk for them…maybe a story if I can keep my eyes open. I shut down my hard working computer and turn out all the lights, set the puppies up for the night, have any last minute scheduling conversations with my on-the-go son, and then I make it to the sink and I slowly wash my face. I inspect the wrinkles, spots and teeth-all doing their thing-and I am convinced if I didn’t have to work so hard, for so long, for so many months strait, I could maybe youth-en up. Maybe Botox.

 

Every night I usually wish I live closer to my relatives and mom, but no-we are totally alone and isolated. I am an only child, and so is my husband. My husband’s family is back East, and we can’t afford to fly out there three times a year-so he hasn’t seen them in two years. My family lives at least two hours from Los Angeles, and this is where we have our livelihood. We chose to live here, and we deal with it. So, without help, no real breaks, and our kids at home all the time, the strain mentally can be overwhelming.

 

This is where I refuse to ‘give in.’ Negativity is right there for me, wanting to swallow me up whole. Here are a few examples, “I am getting to old, and I will never make it”, “I am going to run myself into the ground and age before my time”, “my life is slipping me by”, “Why am I always the one cleaning the house?”, “I can’t hear the word mama for the next tenth thousandths time”, etc. I hear these thoughts all day long, and if I let it, it would run rampant.  But, like training a dog new tricks, I am training my mind to think, powerfully. I replace those phrases with, “What can I do about it?”, “What is the solution?”, “We like living here”, “We are so close to the finish line, don’t give in now!”. I then plow right through it. People ask me all the time, how do you do it? This is how I do it, as simple as that.

 

The intention of this book is too have the reader take a walk through my life as it was, and is now. The stark differences from being a young woman on the loose, a danger to myself and destructive to others-to a mature woman that has embraced her journey of life, and discovered the traps… and fights for “Having It All.’ Read this book if you want to have electricity pumped into you, if you want to see from a birds eye view the dire mistakes we can make everyday, or we can make-as women. I am not claiming I am perfect, or that I have it handled. It is like an Olympian who always trains, and treats their body correctly. This is the same distinction. I do not put my feet up, and believe it will just happen. Some areas I have worked on to the point where it is automatic, but most of the time I am always working on it. My results are bigger and more rewarding.

 

My desire is to leave you replenished, rejuvenated and motivated to take your life on, head first to create the life you want. If you are a woman without children, but know you may want some, mothers of one or more, physical handicap, multi-cultural, any back ground, and from any city-hopefully you can find yourself in the chapters in this book. This is a success story, and is continuing to be an ongoing ‘overcoming the odds’ life story. This is about battling your mind, and no matter what frame of mind you are in when you take this journey with me, my hope is you will find peace and power. I joke this not for the timid or weak at heart, but really, if you are a woman…you were born with a strength and a power rarely found in our beautiful counterparts. Men find powerful women more attractive, and you will find you will attract money, love and success in your life when you take on your mind. “Enjoy the journey, no one else can live your life for you.”

 

-Bobbi Miller-Moro